I cant sleep. I dont want to sleep. Im anxious and confused and my heart hurts and I cant get it to stop.
Im fine Im fine Im fine and then I think about it and Im not fine. I dont like being angry. It takes too much energy. I dont like being confused, It makes everything too loud in my head. I know when I get overwhelmed because I get fidgety and i cant make things quiet. I dont know what I want or what Im looking for. I miss comfort and I miss security but Ive had both of those most of my life and how can i ever learn to be without if im not… well, without.
i cant be quiet. Im trying but it is physically loud in my head. There are literally noises. Im annoyed and Im anxious and I want to figure out my purpose in life and if there is someone I am supposed to fulfill that purpose with.
So frustrating! Im so frustrated.
Mom if youre reading this I’m fine I’m just expressing myself.